Today I mentioned it to a student

In a rather oblique way, I mentioned my desire to check out of the world.  It’s a delicate balancing act to stay alive.  But that’s no reason to mention suicidal feelings to some random, clueless student. 

I had fun today.  I sang a lot–Summertime (even though it’s November), Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, and a few Christmas carols.  The most fun was crouching on my knees next to you-know-who watching Robert Morse perform his egotistical love song to himself, “I Believe in You” for a few minutes during second hour.  Tomorrow I have to purchase a decent DVD universal remote.  Fun isn’t enough to preserve one from suicidal ideation.  It’s as though I’ve been hired to play a role–the role of me–and when I stay in the role of helping everyone and not talking about myself, I’m fine.   Oh, well.  The lengthy countdown continues.

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~ by judeincolorado on November 12, 2008.

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