Today I mentioned it to a student
In a rather oblique way, I mentioned my desire to check out of the world. It’s a delicate balancing act to stay alive. But that’s no reason to mention suicidal feelings to some random, clueless student.
I had fun today. I sang a lot–Summertime (even though it’s November), Swing Low, Sweet Chariot, and a few Christmas carols. The most fun was crouching on my knees next to you-know-who watching Robert Morse perform his egotistical love song to himself, “I Believe in You” for a few minutes during second hour. Tomorrow I have to purchase a decent DVD universal remote. Fun isn’t enough to preserve one from suicidal ideation. It’s as though I’ve been hired to play a role–the role of me–and when I stay in the role of helping everyone and not talking about myself, I’m fine. Oh, well. The lengthy countdown continues.