The Pros and Cons of Suicide

As a serious planner of my own demise, I find articles like “Suicide: When it Hurts Too Much To Live” moderately interesting.  The most interesting thing is when you actually *invite* comments on an article about suicide.  What crawls out of the woodwork?  Me, for one, and a mix of the suicidal and those who have suffered because the formerly suicidal offed themselves.  

One commenter says ” Friends and family are haunted FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES about what they should or should not have done, why they missed the signs, how did they contribute to the action and loads of other “why” questions.”

I’m supposed to stick around so “friends” won’t be upset?  

By the time I exit, there will be few who might care.  

I realize that my self-absorbed teenagers will outgrow this phase, and may someday wish I were here, but I’ll have left plenty of documentation for them to figure out who I was.  They’re unlikely to blame themselves because one can plainly see from my journals (which I’m starting to scan now) that I’ve been suicidal most of my life.  

The numerous acquaintances in my life may be briefly mystified, but I doubt they’ll feel any lingering despair.

My death won’t be dramatic; all loose ends will be tied together; and the utter despair I feel much of the time will end.


~ by judeincolorado on February 25, 2009.

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