Losing it

For someone who is friendless, actually finding a friend can be traumatic.  

In my case, I more or less have a friend.  I told him I am planning to kill myself in 3.5 years, and he didn’t run away.  It’s hard to take, but it proved to be even more difficult when he went away to workshops for a few days.  We emailed each other.  It surprises me how dependent I’d become on contact.

Although friendship and support are theoretically important, in reality if you’ve been without friendship, it’s not a good idea to  go back to having friends.   It ‘s not only uncomfortable, it makes you dependent.  

I wish I could just check out today, but that is not an option.


~ by judeincolorado on March 5, 2009.

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